Humorous phrases
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"dsmyth":
"The only valid measurement of code quality: WTFs/minute"
Thats quite true.
#“Knock, knock.”
“Who’s there?”
very long pause….
“Java.”
#Saying that Java is nice because it works on every OS is like saying that anal sex is nice because it works on every gender.
#When your hammer is C++, everything begins to look like a thumb.
#Programming is like sex:
One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
#Q: "Whats the object-oriented way to become wealthy?"
A: Inheritance
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I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired.
This is a true story from the WordPerfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring
the customer care department.
Operator: "Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?"
Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect. "
Operator: "What sort of trouble??"
Caller: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."
Operator: "Went away?"
Caller: "They disappeared. "
Operator: "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
Caller: "Nothing."
Operator: "Nothing??"
Caller: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
Operator: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??"
Caller: "How do I tell?"
Operator: "Can you see the 'C: prompt' on the screen??"
Caller: "What's a sea-prompt?"
Operator: "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"
Caller: "There isn't any cursor; I told you, it won't accept anything I type."
Operator: "Does your monitor have a power indicator??"
Caller: "What's a monitor?"
Operator: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??"
Caller: "I don't know."
Operator: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??"
Caller: "Yes, I think so."
Operator: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall.
Caller: "Yes, it is."
Operator: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the
back of it, not just one??"
Caller: "No."
Operator: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."
Caller: "Okay, here it is."
Operator: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."
Caller: "I can't reach."
Operator: "OK. Well, can you see if it is??"
Caller: "No."
Operator: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over??"
Caller: "Well, it's not because I don't have the right angle -- it's because it's dark."
Operator: "Dark??"
Caller: "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."
Operator: "Well, turn on the office light then."
Caller: "I can't."
Operator: "No? Why not??"
Caller: "Because there's a power failure."
Operator: "A power .... A power failure? Aha. Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the
boxes and manuals and packing stuff that your computer came in??"
Caller: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
Operator: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it.
Then take it back to the store you bought it from."
Caller: "Really? Is it that bad?"
Operator: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."
Caller: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??"
Operator: "Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer!!!" -
"jwavila":
This is a true story from the WordPerfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring
the customer care department.
That was on Customer Care side, sometimes on the customer's side, things may be different.. take a look !
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zF56rjJJzJY
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"Omie":
[quote="jwavila"]This is a true story from the WordPerfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring
the customer care department.
That was on Customer Care side, sometimes on the customer's side, things may be different.. take a look !
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zF56rjJJzJY[/quote]
He should have tried Alt-C that would have fixed it.
What was Ctrl-C going to do?
Brilliant Omie....
Internet Providings....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yk8BQAi-tM8 -
"etisoppo":
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zfwRb_XKFvA
hehehehe
i found this in related videos, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u0aedNpZeOw&NR=1 hillary farts, ROFLMAO
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"tru jade":
if you guys plan to drink and play with guns after this, drink one for me also.
http://crass.on.ru/flash/aaa-1.html
OMG trujade, I have not laughed so much... nearly winded myself here. What makes it funny is the southern accent.
Btw, I've got plenty of George Bush and other funny avatars awaiting their time in the spotlight so keep a look out for when a new one comes a long. I think I'll stay with the Bush theme for the time being...
In the meantime take a look at the failblog vids on youtube. Here's one to get us started
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gwvrje8uySo -
"tru jade":
heyyyyyyy.. chearleaders are fun, and easy..
believe me, i had a few.
....
...
..
wear lip gloss that is. yay!
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not too long ago, but long ago enough, i was a foreigner as well..
some would say " you're a pee on? " , and i would just kick them in the _______!..
then, i finally understood what they meant. ;o/ " eur-o-pe-an? ".. duh!
kind of too late now to turn back time, since they're all castrated because they kept questioning...
You're a pee on!!.... brilliant! -
Well, personally I would have used peon, as in:
The words peon and peonage are derived from the Spanish peón.
It has a range of meanings but its primary usage is to describe
labourers with little control over their employment conditions.
however, maybe that is a fantasy of hers
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So tru jade, how's the slave labour going?
Remember... 'The man is the head of the house, but the woman is the neck, and she can turn the head any way she wants... .'
"Rarely is the questioned asked: Is our children learning?" George Bush — Florence, South Carolina; January 11, 2000
At least I've been laughing for ages since I'm not from the US, but see this vid, tis good fun.
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